The Messenger's Tale

Alice was a lady uncommonly fair,
blood-red ribbons weaved through light hair.
Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,
her eyes clear as light, her lips as a rose.

This maiden's parents had died years before,
Their merchant ship crashed upon the shore.
Alice's uncle saw to her upbringing,
He taught her Latin, writing, and singing.

Alice grew and blossomed in her uncle's love
And was showered with gifts and praise from above
With heaven and hell she was never at odds
For the maiden was pleasing to all of the gods.

One day a knight passing through town
Caught sight of the gem of England's crown
Cupid’s well-aimed arrow pierced their souls.
“Fair maid, marry me, for my heart is yours.”

'Twas not Alice’s beauty alone that struck him
But too, the truth in her eyes, and her grin,
A smile that hinted at mischief and humor
That incited the humble Knight to love her.

Alice, struck by his fair visage and speech
Accepted his proposal as he swept her off her feet.
To her uncle’s house they retired to petition,
For Alice felt they needed his permission.

Now, Alice’s uncle was a fair sort of fellow,
Never cheated at cards, never fought or bellowed.
When he saw the joy in Alice’s eyes,
He wished them happy, prosperous lives.

The Knight’s father also approved the match
but his step-mother's love was harder to catch
a witch of the woods, the queen of hearts,
would not hesitate to rip Alice apart.

The wicked queen magick'd Alice away
Locked in a tower, she slept night and day.
The knight thought to quest for her trembling hand,
He’d cross the unknown to bring her back again.

So bereft with grief, the gods took pity
and sent Alice a dream to keep her company.
A rabbit so white, so brave, pure, and true
who promised “I will bring your love to you.”

And so the rabbit appeared before the Knight
Who found talking animals a bit of a fright.
“Follow me knight, no time will we waste,
To reach your lady we must make haste.

Please hurry, or we’ll be late, milord,
The dark tower is far, in a land unexplored.”
Through forest and mountain, river and lake,
They ran till at last they saw the rusted gate.

‘Lo, a ferocious lion guarded the door,
A man-killing beast, docile nevermore.
He feeds on fear, he feeds on pain,
But Alice’s Knight is strong and brave.

The battle took place round the edge of the tower
While Fairest Alice slept in her bower.
Man and beast, preparing to duel
‘Till the other’s life force congeals in a pool.

They orbit one another, feinting and faking
Looking for weaknesses, intimidating,
Forcing each other into missing a step,
In dizzying circles and maneuvers they crept.

Every muscle was tight on the beast’s shaggy back
The Knight was poised, ready for the attack.
The great cat lunged, the sword was flashing,
Claws sharp as blades, weapons were lashing.

The Knight plunged his blade into the lion’s side
Up to the hilt, the entire sword hides.
In the aftermath, neither foe made a sound.
Two sets of blood now stained the ground.

At last, the wind rustled the lion’s mane
Yet the life had left, the great beast tamed.
The Knight, not far from death, groaned
“Dearest Alice… our reunion must be postponed…”

With Alice struggling alone, would he survive?
To leave her: that sacrifice was much too high.
“By the gods, I am not ready to join the deceased”
And with that oath, his prayers were released.

At this, the white rabbit once more returned
The gods had seen the battle and became concerned
They gave him the power to heal the Knight.
Blessed by the gods, for life and love will he fight.

The Knight rose painlessly, and glanced aside
To see the rabbit sitting contentedly by.
He knew at once something was missing,
‘Twas Alice his lips should be kissing.

After thanking the gods for all they had done,
Our poor lovesick knight took off at a run
He wrestled open the door, dashed up the stairs,
Halted before Alice, head hung in despair.

For Alice was yet slumbering on the wide bed,
“Pale as death” he thought in his head.
Her brow furrowed for a brief heartbeat
As though someone had disturbed her deepest sleep.

The knight regarded his lady fair
And smoothed from her cheek a lock of hair
“Alice, queen of wit and of youth,
My love, awake and see the truth.”

With those words, his head slowly dipped
And pressed a soft kiss ‘pon his lady’s lips.
Her eyelids flickered, her breath inhaled,
And a rose blush graced cheeks so pale.

And when her eyes opened she beheld
The most handsome man her heart ever held.
She kissed him right back, one, two, three,
And what happened next, only gods may see.



-By Sam. Fall 2008. Rediscovered 2010.
The assignment was to write our own entry in the manner of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. This tale was told 3rd, by a messenger on his way to collect a reward for capturing a highwayman. 99%.

Transformers 3: Tread Cautiously

Michael Bay has done it again. Introducing yet another installment to the live action Transformers industry is risky business. Some naysayers compare the series to Star Wars, while I prefer not to tarnish the pinnacle of geekdom with giant robots.

Potential problems:
The writers, Roberto Orici and Alex Kurtzman, will not be returning for the third script, leaving it instead to their lesser known co-writer from Revenge of the Fallen. Ehren Kruger is taking up the role, a writer who worked on films such as The Ring, The Brothers Grimm, and Blood and Chocolate. Personally, and based on the latter two of those three movies, I trust Ehren to balance action with explanation so that we don't have another version of The Fifth Element on our hands.

Another potential problem arises in the time crunch placed upon both Michael Bay and the writers. Paramount announced July 1, 2011 to be the release date, shocking Bay who intended to take a year-long hiatus from robots until 2012. However, since the script was finished March 19, 2010 and filming began the following April and May, we can assume that any lag in script content will be filled with either sexual tension or shiny cars. Now therein lies the real secret to Hollywood success.

And then we come to the problem of Mikaela. Megan Fox and Michael Bay have been embroiled in a controversial swirl of events that border on the ridiculous and are better left undisclosed. As such, the character Mikaela, a fanboy's wet dream since she fixed Sam's car in the first movie, has been replaced. Audiences might prefer the new love interest: British Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. It is unclear as to whether Rosie will play Mikaela (fairly likely) or a completely new character altogether. Personally, I am a fan of keeping Mikaela around. With Patrick Dempsey cast as her boss, there would be a plot twist in order to give him enough screen time to be worth the role. Plus, having a lasting relationship between Sam and Mikaela is an essential theme of these movies. For heaven's sake, they only JUST got around to the "L" word 80% of the way through the last movie. It would be a pity to trash that romantic build up now.

Since this third movie is predicted to be even bloodier and more violent than the last, I wouldn't be surprised if they killed Mikaela off within the first 2 minutes. But that would be cheap, and I'm sure Michael Bay is above such a low blow.

Personal Quirks
I love the twins. Skids and Mudflap were wonderful comedic relief and they were not predicted to appear in this third movie as more than a cameo by two Chevrolets. However, these Black Chevrolet Sparks, very expensive and very zippy autobots, would not be worth the budget for two side characters. Also personally exciting: Josh Duhamel is reprising his role as Captain Lennox, another character fans latch onto from the first and second.

Conclusions:
I have high hopes for this movie. Can't go wrong with giant robots, fast cars, and the Transformers brand. I don't intend to dress in refrigerator boxes and costumes for this one (Too embarassing at the first premere) but I have a bid in for a midnight ticket already. However, I'm bracing myself for the backlash from fans and critics alike. I'd advise you to do the same.



*For the record, I love The Fifth Element. However, every time I see it I get more confused.

Sneak a Peak and the Soundtrack of my Life

Recently, I was reading one of the "soundtrack" questionnaires a friend of mine filled out on myspace. Gasp, the horror! Being forced to hit shuffle and trust to fate that your funeral dirge will be properly fitting and that no one will headbang to your wedding entrance. Anyway, I decided to go through my mp3's, CD's, tapes, and vinyls and choose the most meaningful songs.

These are, in essence, the truth about my youth. They have been projected through a less grumpy portal. Yes, I was a grumpy child. I still am, when I haven't had anything to eat all day, but that is a different story altogether.


Songs of Choice to Sing as a Small Child:
"Yesterday" by Paul McCartney/the Beatles
"Itsy Bitsy Spider" by Little Richard (Yes, it really exists!)
"Baby Beluga" by Raffi

Song that Defined My Elementary School Friendships:
"Wannabe" by the Spice Girls

Song that Forever Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations in Men:
"Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton

Song my Friends and I Tried Out With at the Talent Show:
"Tearing up my Heart" by N*Sync (NO SHAME)

First Slow Dance:
"What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts
Yes, it took me until High School to pluck up the courage to even talk to a boy let alone dance with him. I'm still that scared, awkward teenager around the opposite sex.

Slow Dance that Caused Me to Listen to this Song on Repeat For a Week:
"Come Away with Me" by Norah Jones

First Kiss:
"Through the Fire and the Flames" by Dragonforce. A big "uh-oh."

First Kiss That I Wish Was My First Kiss:
"Hooked on a Feeling" by Blue Swede. Interrupting my concentration in the middle of Reservoir Dogs pissed me off, but a good background choice nonetheless.

Future First Kiss:
"You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift. If you can stand that song, chances are I can stand you.

First Song I Used to Dream about Slow Dancing to:
"Here's to the Night" by Eve 6
"Swing Life Away" by Rise Against

First Song That Made Me Bawl Like a Baby:
"Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

First Song that a Guy Truly Ruined:
"One Day" by Genesis.

Recent Song That Reminds Me of Better Days:
"Blue Jeans & White T-Shirts" by The Gaslight Anthem

Song that I would sing Karaoke to:
"American Pie" by Don McLean. But I would sing the Star Wars version.

Song that I Share with my Best Friends:
"Don't Stop (Believin')" by Journey

Mieux vaut se consacrer aux autres qu'à un nain de jardin!

Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain. If you haven't seen this film, rent it immediately. Only then may you reread this post. (Additional: The Big Bang Theory may have tainted the results.)

Layers of dust on a bookshelf surrounding a particular novel like Custer's last stand. Only a matter of time.
Toothpaste stains in the bottom of the sink.
The little frilly edges of paper, torn out of a notebook, sticking to absolutely everything.
Mascara stains on towels and pillow cases.
The burning smell when melting sugar on crème brûlée.
Steam rising from the toaster ovens.
Ghosts of tape on the walls of an empty room.
The crick in your back after sitting for too long.
The rings around your ankle from the elastic in your socks.
Watching theoretical physicists sit on my chair on the TV.
Cheering when awkward geeks succeed at social interactions.

I like to look for the things that others pretend to ignore. Forgive me if I stare. They remind me that we are, indeed, human. I have flaws, I acknowledge this inevitability. Flaws are what separate the men from the gods.

Heaven knows only too well, we are but mere mortals.

I would rather take care of others than look after a garden gnome.

25 Good because they are bad things

This list is a collection of bad things in life that are so bad, everyone agrees that that it is still a good thing to have around. When compared to the best of their categories, these things are absolute crap. However, for some reason, we like to keep these things around for pure, uninhibited, American fun. Here is "25 good because they are bad things":

1. "Point Break"
2. "We Built This City" by Jefferson Starship
3. Police Academy movies (preferably the ones with Steve Gutenberg)
4. The York Fair (mostly for the stellar selection of music)
5. Pabst Blue Ribbon
6. 1995 Ford Escorts
7. Karaoke bars
8. CBS
9. NFL commentary by John Madden
10. Hootie and the Blowfish
11. New Jersey
12. the Detroit Lions
13. Last Action Hero
14. Bill Clinton
15. Ringback tones
16. CSI: Miami (thank you to David Caruso)
17. "Teen Wolf"
18. Warped Tour
19. American Idol
20. Snow
21. Golf
22. The Electric Factory, Philadelphia, PA (great acts, crappy venue)
23. the Kansas City Royals
24. All horror films
25. Days of Our Lives

Truth or Fiction

There's always those things that come up in your head and you wonder "is that true?", "could it be true?", or "what if that was true?". Here are 13 things that I think about day to day and I wonder, could this be real, or is this just fantasy. You be the judge:

1. Kiefer Sutherland really is an FBI agent.
2. We didn't land on the moon, we simply landed on Alaska.
3. Tom Cruise is not a martian, Nicole Kidman is (watch "the Hours").
4. Shia Labouf really isn't that cool.
5. Justin Long is cool.
6. Jim Morrison isn't dead.
7. The members of Fall Out Boy can't read.
8. Picket's Charge probably seemed like a good idea at the time.
9. Kanye West sucks.
10. "The Today Show" is all CGI.
11. Jersey City is as great as it sounds.
12. Des Moines is not a real city.
13. Velociraptors are not extinct, they simply migrate east.

Observations on Marcus Aurelius

Lately, I've been reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (mostly to procrastinate reading textbooks... ick..). I thought the following quotations were fascinating Historical advice for all generations. In fact, if I enjoy this enough, I might just continue to share interesting snippits from other historical figures as well. Or I might add more quotes to this note, or even discuss them later, but for now I just wanted to share.

"Never allow yourself to be swept off your feet: when an impulse stirs, see first that it will meet the claims of justice; when an impression forms, assure yourself first of its certainty."

"Do not copy the opinions of the arrogant, or let them dictate your own, but look at things in their true light."

" Observe how all things are continually being born of change; teach yourself to see that Nature's highest happiness lies in changing the things that are, and forming new things after their kind. Whatever is, is in some sense the seed of what is to emerge from it. Nothing can become a philosopher less than to imagine that seed can only be something that is planted in the earth or the womb."

"Observe carefully what guides the actions of the wise and what they shun or seek."

"Do not waste what remains of your life in speculating about your neighbours, unless with a view to some mutual benefit. To wonder what so-and-so is doing and why, or what he is saying, or thinking, or scheming...means a loss of opportunity for some other task."