Every once in a while, we choose to date someone who is horrible for our mental and physical health. For instance, when I'm in a relationship, I tend to gain weight because a) I don't watch what I eat closely enough while on a date and b) we usually dine out a lot. Part of the whole "wooing" process, apparently.
Claudia's ex-girlfriend singlehandedly proved that sometimes there is an alternate reason for the weight gain.
Remember how movies and television try to push the idea that sharing food is romantic? Spaghetti, wedding cake, chocolate covered strawberries, and so on. Sharing is a cute gesture that you care about the other person and want them to enjoy the same foodie experiences. For Claudia's ex, we'll call her Sarah, sharing was an unknown concept. In fact, she not only ate all of her own food, she ate most of Claudia's food as well.
The scenario plays like this: The two girls are sitting at a nice restaurant. Claudia orders a sandwich and fries and Sarah orders steak, mashed potatoes, soup, bread sticks, and a side salad. Seems like enough food to feed a short teenage girl, right? Wrong. Claudia is only three bites into her grilled cheese and tomato sammich before Miss Sarah the Snorlax reaches across the table and steals a fry. One fry, we'll let it slide. Then a second, still excusable. But when half of her fries go missing, Claudia starts to get concerned. Her reaction: "Hey, can I eat my food?" and Sarah responds "GIMMEE, NOM NOM NOM." Wash, rinse, repeat, every meal together for six months. You can imagine how quickly the popcorn disappeared during their trips to the cinema.
In Claudia's own words, "The first time I saw so'n'so naked, I thought she was okayish, and then 6 months down the road, I was like, 'Shit, she's fat. Wtf happened? Oh, right. She ate my fries. That's what happened.'" Sarah gained 40 pounds during this relationship while Claudia lost weight due to all her food being stolen from her plate.
Since girls like closure, Claudia told Sarah precisely why their relationship ended and why they suddenly had to buy all new wardrobes to fit their new body types. Apparently Sarah's new girlfriend took offence to this list and wrote some threatening messages to Claudia. Via MySpace. Instead of the big badass lesbian image she was trying to front, the new girl's messages seemed more like a chihuahua taking on a bulldozer. She's lucky Claudia didn't print them out, hand them to the Police to get a restraining order and a shock collar.
I guess Sarah hadn't starved the fight out of that one yet.
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