Adventures in Awkwardland, Episode 14: Delete Your Search History Often

I was watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother yesterday and it reminded me of a story two of my friends share. In this episode of HIMYM, Marshall admits to his wife Lily that in order to fantasize about another woman he has to first fantasize Lily's death so that he doesn't cheat on her even in his dreams. Meanwhile, Barney has deluded himself into thinking that Robin is cool with him going to strip clubs and checking out other women. This week's Awkwardland hovers in the middle of these two extremes.

Keeping with this HIMYM theme, today's story centers around "April" and "Ted." April and Ted had been dating for a while and things were going smoothly. Six months into their relationship, on this particular Friday evening, Ted decides to hang out with his friends for "guy's night" while April is recovering from an illness and spends the evening at home. They had planned to meet up later to spend some time together. Too bad plans don't always go smoothly.

Ted wound up getting very drunk that evening. Around ten o'clock he was feeling fine, but by 11 he was passed out on his bed. April had gotten a few texts asking her to come visit, maybe watch a movie, and eventually a phone call summoning her to his home. Ted doesn't remember most of the night, but April filled him in the next morning.

April arrived at Ted's house around 10:50 PM, ten minutes before Ted passed out for the night. She ran to his bedroom to make sure he wasn't throwing up, or worse. She tucked him in bed, pushed the covers around him so he couldn't roll off the bed, and rubbed his back until he fell asleep. Since it was still early, relatively speaking, April decided to borrow Ted's computer to play a game or check her Facebook, the usual time wasting activities. The computer was already turned on, and the internet browser was already open. In fact, a page was already loaded.

"BIG BLACK BOOTY SHAKIN ASS DANCING BUTTS BIG TITS CLICK NOW TO PLAY"

Apparently Ted had drunkenly researched a few things before calling April. Not sure whether or not to be pissed or to laugh at the results, April decided to leave the page open but turn off the monitor and read a book instead. She'd deal with it in the morning.

As it turns out, that morning Ted paid no attention to the page on the computer and closed it without reading it. In fact, he had no idea the event even occurred until a few weeks later at the How I Met Your Mother marathon when April told the story to everyone gathered. Lucky for Ted, April had a sense of humor about the whole ordeal. He was pretty embarrassed, but I'm sure if April had looked hard enough she would have found even worse videos in his porn collection.

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