Adventures in Awkwardland, Episode 17: Got a big job in the city.

I started my new job this past Tuesday. Growing up, working in the city, local government stuff. I didn't know what I was getting into when I accepted the position, but I've been having a pretty good time so far. The people I work with are quite nice even though I'm just temporarily filling in. But anyway, I see a lot of very odd things during the day. We're connected to the police department, so people come to pay their parking tickets, water bills, certain taxes, etc. with us. I never realized Lancaster was so... ... ... diverse?

Within the first hour and a half I met a 60 year old lesbian prostitute. That's right. I'm talking hotdogs and hallways, shriveled leather prostitute, but she actually turned down a solicitation offer from an equally work down looking man in our lobby.

Yesterday, I saw an asian with a blonde mullet. I'm talking full on anime hairstyles here, not just the typical early 90's redneck stuff. I think he was going for the Snake look, but if his hairdresser would just add some blue and he could have been Captain Planet.

Today was the weirdest. I wasn't in on the conversation until halfway through, but this guy was trying to get a parking permit for the car he drives. The car is in his mother's name, an automatic red flag when you're trying to get a parking permit, and he needed to show his license to prove he could even drive the car, and he'd like to pay by a check he wrote before he came in. So he goes into this long winded tirade about how he worked for the government on some top secret service missions studying the radioactivity of rocks during the early 90's and how his research was going to be published by National Geographic and what he found made a lot of top governmental people angry so they conspired to make him cause a car accident which resulted in his license being suspended for the past couple months and that's why he tried to pay a check dated June 2008. It's all George Bush's fault. Which one? Both. And how did they cause his traffic accident? Must have been the aliens.

Maybe next time he'll tell us he's a time traveler. I'd believe it easier.

The most awkward event is having men call me "honey" or "baby girl." I'm not used to it, and generally anyone I meet at my job is in trouble with their credit or bills. So when a motorcycle-riding viking with $200 in parking tickets and his water bill shut off asks for my number, I DO have standards and I know immediately to say "no thank you."

If you've started a new job as well, feel like sharing your awkward first day at work story, or have any awkward adventures to share, send them to: MyAwkwardAdventure@gmail.com