OK, here’s how stupid bees are: they kill themselves just to piss you off. Think about it. . . . If you were a bee, would you commit suicide simply to sting somebody? I mean, all it would do is give them a momentary feeling of discomfort. Meanwhile, you, the bee, would die slowly and painfully. You know, if I was a bee, I think I’d just scare people a little, like by going in their hair, or landing on their arm. Just to teach them not to go near me when I’m pollinating a flower. Hey, I need my privacy.
Now I don’t mean to come off so “anti-bee” here, but it’s just that I’ve been stung one too many times. Bees can be alright, when they’re chillin’ in their hives and making me a jar of honey. But when they go into your car and sting you? I’m sorry, that’s not cool.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Oral History Abroad: The Youth of Belfast
Ireland has been terrorized for the past century by political separatists, the Irish Republican Army, and guerilla warfare. Though the direct combat has died down since the turn of the century, the danger still remains and is prevalent in the everyday lives of Irish citizens. Religous warfare and political terrorism manifest themselves annually during riots that are widely publicized around the globe. Racial relations have taken a back seat in Northern Ireland as segregation based on religion increased in frequency. For William, a 21 year old Catholic student living in Belfast, having diverse opinions can be dangerous. William's life was shaped by his cultural upbringing in the Belfast area, his social interactions with peers, and the history of the warfare in Belfast.
William was born in the district of Glengormly, in the Greater Belfast area. Looking back, William thought it was a nice area to grow up, yet the people had different mindsets from his own. Glengormly is a very sports-oriented small town where everyone followed Gaelic League football that William was less than interested in as a child. Around the age of 10, William had a selectively small group of friends who were also not included in the football craze. When he was old enough, William decided to leave Glengormly and the sports oriented people behind and retreated into a secluded world of video games and movies.
To further distance himself from his fellow townspeople, William looked forward to grade school, which in Belfast is composed of the seven years of primary school and seven years of secondary school. In Ireland, students are divided into classes based on their proficiency in certain subjects. William's class, however, was separated by age and last name. His core classes, such as english and mathematics, were taken with the form class, the original people he was lumped together with at the start of the first year. Unfortunately, William was placed in a class with a group of other students who were not interested in learning. This was the only year this system applied to. The following year, the school administration realised their mistake and reinstated the old system for future classes. William's class was rated the worst in his school for ten years, but during the final two years, as the college years approached, the mood of his class changed. Students were finally interested in learning, non-sports extra-curricular activities were offered, and William thoroughly enjoyed the topics he learned about. In fact, when his class participated in a mini-business venture as a project, they won the Northern Irish regional competition and were invited to participate in the main event in the Savoy Hotel, London. He described the venture as selling "random stuff, having a laugh doing it, and raising £400." Half of their profits were donated to charity.
After graduating from secondary school, William felt immense pressure to attend a university immediately. According to a study by the Minister of Employment and Learning, Sir Reg Empley, Northern Ireland has the highest participation rate in higher education in the United Kingdom (2010). This statistic can be explained using William's expereince during his final year. Secondary schools pressure all of their students to gain acceptance to a university immediately after graduation to raise their status. It is marketed as the logical next step in education, and William did not want to deviate from that social norm. Additionally, William didn't think he could afford to take a year off before continuing at a university. Most of the jobs available require experience. Experience is learned with higher education. Higher education required money, and William had very little. According to William, he chose to the wrong university first and then took a half year off to recollect his thoughts and spent the time working full time at a supermarket. Even though William has returned to school, part of him thinks its a waste of time. During his time between univeristies, William developed a back-up plan to open a cafe in downtown Belfast. In his own words, "a degree in biological sciences won't get me a job and I now have about £18,000 of debt." Robin Wilson, who wrote an article on the student debt for the Chronicle of Higher Education, a vast majority of college students feel the same sense of hopelessness about their debt situations. Most college students do not, in fact, borrow much money to pay for their college education. Only one third of college graduates leave with no debt at all, and 65% of graduates will owe upwards of $20,000 (Wilson, 2009). Sometimes, William thinks his choice to attend the university was a mistake. "I just continually think about saving up and opening a business so I could have started earlier on that. However if I hadn't went (sic), I wouldn't have met the most interesting people, had the random experiences and generally arsed around that led me to come up with my awesome business idea."
When William moved from Glengormly to Belfast city, he made the transition with ease. However there was a strict line dividing the natives of Belfast from the rest of Northern Ireland. Since Glengormly is only a fifteen minute bus ride from the center of Belfast, William posessed the modern Belfast accent. Just beyond Glengormly, the accent drastically changes and those residents of Northern Ireland are known as "culchies." These "out of towners" stand out in a crowd and are generally not respected by the citizens of Belfast. They are, in a sense, the "rednecks" of Northern Ireland.
William experienced religious oppression when he was still in his teens. He was hanging out with a group of friends when he met a young woman. From the instant they met, they were inseparable. For two years their freindship blossomed into a young romance. Unfortunately for William, this young lady's father did not approve of their friendship. In the police database, certain areas of Northern Ireland are blacklisted as the most dangerous for police officers. Her father was a high-ranking police officer, and their Protestant family was accustomed to living in a rather rich neighborhood. William happened to live next door to one of those highly Catholic blacklisted areas. Previously, when violent riots occurred rather often, there were a great number of police officers killed in the line of duty. For the safety of her family, William and his girlfriend agreed to stop seeing one another. While this may have seemed unfair at the time, William now recognizes the danger of the situation and is thankful that his girl friend's family would not be in danger because of his actions.
In the Belfast area, one Protestant tradition is marching in the Orange parades. Not all Protestants participate, though even a small amount will cause public outcry. The Orange Order was originally established to suppress the Catholics. One area was called Ardoyne, where the orange men always march, and unfortunately, is extremely Catholic. William further explains: "Riots traditionally break out most years, but this year was particularly bad. Some kids, kids being the operative word here, dropped a breeze block on a police woman's head and nearly killed her." The riot began in Northern Belfast on July 12 and continued for three days. The news confirmed that the police woman was in stable condition in the morning. Children as young as 8 years old were videotaped participating in the violence. The Orange Order rejected a new route proposed by groups attempting to mediate during the annual march, and William plans to avoid the blacklisted areas during that time.
Religious prejudice is not just located in the urban areas but has permeated the Irish culture right down to the pubs. Though some pubs are separated by political factions of the religious groups, two have polarized businesses in Belfast. The Republicans are typically Catholic followers and would prefer Norther Ireland to separate from Britain and return to the political unit of Ireland. Unionists, on the other side of the spectrum, are typically Protestant and want to keep the link with England. William has noticed that in certain areas where the beliefs are very strong in one way or the other, the bars tend to be marketed toward that group. However, the vast majority of bars are neutral which accounts for their popularity, and only a select few enforce the separation.
A recent study by the Journal of Youth Studies used a 2006 Life and Times Survey to update their findings about the adoption of a Northern Irish identity and a positive view of community relations is increasingly common among Protestants. The surveys also showed that 36% of young Northern Irish adults considered themselves Protestants where as 17.8% identified themselves as Catholic. Adults, on the other hand, were more evenly split, 25% Protestant and 23% Catholic (Table 1). Studies further show that the Protestant religion is a rising trend, particularly among teenagers (Figure 2). When questioned on how importantly they value their national identity, 51% of the Northern Irish surveyed responded "very" or "quite important," while only 40% of the Protestants responded the same. Therefore, even though the young adults of Northern Ireland are primarily Protestant, they are not as positive about their national identity.
There is a strong sense in Northern Ireland that anyone outside of the group is "bad" or "dangerous." This violence is not as widely publicized as the sectarian killings. However, there may still be hope for younger generations. According to William, "I hang out with Protestants because they're the nicest guys you'll ever meet, even though I'm from a Catholic background." The origins of the conflicts are barely mentioned in school around grade 3, and William describes it as learning how the roles were reversed, yet most students and parents argue that it was a lie. At the annual Fresher Fair on campus, each political faction has a booth, but otherwise the students are not bothered by the propaganda. All political and religious groups do not receive funding in order to promote a unified front so the university is not seen supporting one arguement or the other. If a society requires more funding, the bursaries are based on needs rather than an automatic budget. By down-playing the differences between separate groups and treating them the same from the school-age up, William predicts that more of his peers will agree that there is a rational way to heal the differences between the Catholic Irish and the Protestant Irish populations.
William has maintained a positive attitude towards the separate religous and political factions. The militant leaders he read about in the news as a young boy have reformed and joined the peace process. William, while not personally affected by the riots or the violence, has learned to value his friends for their company rather than their ancester's religious beliefs. Once he graduates from the university, he is prepared to enter the professional world of Northern Ireland. He is a self-proclaimed Catholic British citizen, but more than that, he is a student and a friend. Religious intolerance has no place in the next generation of William's peers.
References
Empey, R. (2010, October 18). Northern Ireland’s higher education participation rates are best in UK. Department for Employment and Learning. Retrieved November 27, 2010, from http://www.delni.gov.uk/index/press-releases/press-releases-october10-december10/northern-ireland-s-higher-education-participation-rates-are-best-in-uk.htm.
Hayes, B., & McAllister, I. (2009). Religion, identity and community relations among adults and young adults in Northern Ireland. Journal of Youth Studies, 12(4), 385-403. doi:10.1080/13676260902866504.
Wilson, R. (2009). A Lifetime of Student Debt? Not Likely. (Cover story). Chronicle of Higher Education, 55(37), A1-A22. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.
William was born in the district of Glengormly, in the Greater Belfast area. Looking back, William thought it was a nice area to grow up, yet the people had different mindsets from his own. Glengormly is a very sports-oriented small town where everyone followed Gaelic League football that William was less than interested in as a child. Around the age of 10, William had a selectively small group of friends who were also not included in the football craze. When he was old enough, William decided to leave Glengormly and the sports oriented people behind and retreated into a secluded world of video games and movies.
To further distance himself from his fellow townspeople, William looked forward to grade school, which in Belfast is composed of the seven years of primary school and seven years of secondary school. In Ireland, students are divided into classes based on their proficiency in certain subjects. William's class, however, was separated by age and last name. His core classes, such as english and mathematics, were taken with the form class, the original people he was lumped together with at the start of the first year. Unfortunately, William was placed in a class with a group of other students who were not interested in learning. This was the only year this system applied to. The following year, the school administration realised their mistake and reinstated the old system for future classes. William's class was rated the worst in his school for ten years, but during the final two years, as the college years approached, the mood of his class changed. Students were finally interested in learning, non-sports extra-curricular activities were offered, and William thoroughly enjoyed the topics he learned about. In fact, when his class participated in a mini-business venture as a project, they won the Northern Irish regional competition and were invited to participate in the main event in the Savoy Hotel, London. He described the venture as selling "random stuff, having a laugh doing it, and raising £400." Half of their profits were donated to charity.
After graduating from secondary school, William felt immense pressure to attend a university immediately. According to a study by the Minister of Employment and Learning, Sir Reg Empley, Northern Ireland has the highest participation rate in higher education in the United Kingdom (2010). This statistic can be explained using William's expereince during his final year. Secondary schools pressure all of their students to gain acceptance to a university immediately after graduation to raise their status. It is marketed as the logical next step in education, and William did not want to deviate from that social norm. Additionally, William didn't think he could afford to take a year off before continuing at a university. Most of the jobs available require experience. Experience is learned with higher education. Higher education required money, and William had very little. According to William, he chose to the wrong university first and then took a half year off to recollect his thoughts and spent the time working full time at a supermarket. Even though William has returned to school, part of him thinks its a waste of time. During his time between univeristies, William developed a back-up plan to open a cafe in downtown Belfast. In his own words, "a degree in biological sciences won't get me a job and I now have about £18,000 of debt." Robin Wilson, who wrote an article on the student debt for the Chronicle of Higher Education, a vast majority of college students feel the same sense of hopelessness about their debt situations. Most college students do not, in fact, borrow much money to pay for their college education. Only one third of college graduates leave with no debt at all, and 65% of graduates will owe upwards of $20,000 (Wilson, 2009). Sometimes, William thinks his choice to attend the university was a mistake. "I just continually think about saving up and opening a business so I could have started earlier on that. However if I hadn't went (sic), I wouldn't have met the most interesting people, had the random experiences and generally arsed around that led me to come up with my awesome business idea."
When William moved from Glengormly to Belfast city, he made the transition with ease. However there was a strict line dividing the natives of Belfast from the rest of Northern Ireland. Since Glengormly is only a fifteen minute bus ride from the center of Belfast, William posessed the modern Belfast accent. Just beyond Glengormly, the accent drastically changes and those residents of Northern Ireland are known as "culchies." These "out of towners" stand out in a crowd and are generally not respected by the citizens of Belfast. They are, in a sense, the "rednecks" of Northern Ireland.
William experienced religious oppression when he was still in his teens. He was hanging out with a group of friends when he met a young woman. From the instant they met, they were inseparable. For two years their freindship blossomed into a young romance. Unfortunately for William, this young lady's father did not approve of their friendship. In the police database, certain areas of Northern Ireland are blacklisted as the most dangerous for police officers. Her father was a high-ranking police officer, and their Protestant family was accustomed to living in a rather rich neighborhood. William happened to live next door to one of those highly Catholic blacklisted areas. Previously, when violent riots occurred rather often, there were a great number of police officers killed in the line of duty. For the safety of her family, William and his girlfriend agreed to stop seeing one another. While this may have seemed unfair at the time, William now recognizes the danger of the situation and is thankful that his girl friend's family would not be in danger because of his actions.
In the Belfast area, one Protestant tradition is marching in the Orange parades. Not all Protestants participate, though even a small amount will cause public outcry. The Orange Order was originally established to suppress the Catholics. One area was called Ardoyne, where the orange men always march, and unfortunately, is extremely Catholic. William further explains: "Riots traditionally break out most years, but this year was particularly bad. Some kids, kids being the operative word here, dropped a breeze block on a police woman's head and nearly killed her." The riot began in Northern Belfast on July 12 and continued for three days. The news confirmed that the police woman was in stable condition in the morning. Children as young as 8 years old were videotaped participating in the violence. The Orange Order rejected a new route proposed by groups attempting to mediate during the annual march, and William plans to avoid the blacklisted areas during that time.
Religious prejudice is not just located in the urban areas but has permeated the Irish culture right down to the pubs. Though some pubs are separated by political factions of the religious groups, two have polarized businesses in Belfast. The Republicans are typically Catholic followers and would prefer Norther Ireland to separate from Britain and return to the political unit of Ireland. Unionists, on the other side of the spectrum, are typically Protestant and want to keep the link with England. William has noticed that in certain areas where the beliefs are very strong in one way or the other, the bars tend to be marketed toward that group. However, the vast majority of bars are neutral which accounts for their popularity, and only a select few enforce the separation.
A recent study by the Journal of Youth Studies used a 2006 Life and Times Survey to update their findings about the adoption of a Northern Irish identity and a positive view of community relations is increasingly common among Protestants. The surveys also showed that 36% of young Northern Irish adults considered themselves Protestants where as 17.8% identified themselves as Catholic. Adults, on the other hand, were more evenly split, 25% Protestant and 23% Catholic (Table 1). Studies further show that the Protestant religion is a rising trend, particularly among teenagers (Figure 2). When questioned on how importantly they value their national identity, 51% of the Northern Irish surveyed responded "very" or "quite important," while only 40% of the Protestants responded the same. Therefore, even though the young adults of Northern Ireland are primarily Protestant, they are not as positive about their national identity.
There is a strong sense in Northern Ireland that anyone outside of the group is "bad" or "dangerous." This violence is not as widely publicized as the sectarian killings. However, there may still be hope for younger generations. According to William, "I hang out with Protestants because they're the nicest guys you'll ever meet, even though I'm from a Catholic background." The origins of the conflicts are barely mentioned in school around grade 3, and William describes it as learning how the roles were reversed, yet most students and parents argue that it was a lie. At the annual Fresher Fair on campus, each political faction has a booth, but otherwise the students are not bothered by the propaganda. All political and religious groups do not receive funding in order to promote a unified front so the university is not seen supporting one arguement or the other. If a society requires more funding, the bursaries are based on needs rather than an automatic budget. By down-playing the differences between separate groups and treating them the same from the school-age up, William predicts that more of his peers will agree that there is a rational way to heal the differences between the Catholic Irish and the Protestant Irish populations.
William has maintained a positive attitude towards the separate religous and political factions. The militant leaders he read about in the news as a young boy have reformed and joined the peace process. William, while not personally affected by the riots or the violence, has learned to value his friends for their company rather than their ancester's religious beliefs. Once he graduates from the university, he is prepared to enter the professional world of Northern Ireland. He is a self-proclaimed Catholic British citizen, but more than that, he is a student and a friend. Religious intolerance has no place in the next generation of William's peers.
References
Empey, R. (2010, October 18). Northern Ireland’s higher education participation rates are best in UK. Department for Employment and Learning. Retrieved November 27, 2010, from http://www.delni.gov.uk/index/press-releases/press-releases-october10-december10/northern-ireland-s-higher-education-participation-rates-are-best-in-uk.htm.
Hayes, B., & McAllister, I. (2009). Religion, identity and community relations among adults and young adults in Northern Ireland. Journal of Youth Studies, 12(4), 385-403. doi:10.1080/13676260902866504.
Wilson, R. (2009). A Lifetime of Student Debt? Not Likely. (Cover story). Chronicle of Higher Education, 55(37), A1-A22. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Nothing says "BFF" like blood and band-aids
I used to think it was outrageous that two people saying something simultaneously should be grounds for a jinx. Whenever somebody jinxed me, I would be all, “What the hell, man? We said the same thing because we’re on the same page here. Why am I being punished with a fucking curse?”
I now realize that jinxing was invented because we need a game to break the tension inherent in this situation. Imagine saying “I’m thirsty!” in unison with your friend, except neither of you has the power to jinx. You would both just kind of stand there and awkwardly laugh due to how stupid your lives have suddenly become. There’s actually no graceful way out of this situation. Jinxing may sound childish, but it’s a choice between that or the two of you spontaneously making out.
Where I draw the line is the idea that now I somehow owe my friend a Coke, because I don’t. It’s like, “You’ve just pinched me and poked me—I’ve been publicly humiliated for absolutely no reason. Under no circumstances am I going to take you out for Cokes.” It’s such an insane ritual, too, because nobody in the history of jinxes has actually collected on their Coke. I probably owe about $3,000 worth of Cokes right now, and there’s no need for it. How in the hell did Coke even become involved with this bullshit?
Researching frivolous subjects on Wikipedia is a hobby of mine, so I consulted their (largely retarded) jinxing article. I didn’t find anything close to resembling an answer, but I did come across the following intriguing excerpt:
A variation experienced in Southern Massachusetts in the 1960s may not be strictly considered a “jinx,” but when two people say the same thing in unison (unplanned!), they must hook little fingers and say the following dialog: “What goes up the chimney?” “Smoke.” “May your wish and my wish never be broke!”
That’s probably the cutest thing I’ve ever read. I imagine two grown men hooking their pinkies together and excitedly breaking into this little exchange. To me this is way more positive than demanding a Coke from your friend and beating the shit out of him. It’s a chance to share a wish! The next time an acquaintance and I speak in unison, I’m going to begin reciting this routine, because it’s the perfect way to avoid any lingering awkwardness. Hopefully all my acquaintances are familiar with proper jinxing protocol from 1960s Southern Massachusetts, or else I’m going to look like a real asshole.
When it comes to a proper pinch and punch, my friends and I have begun a war of the months. On the first day of the month, all hell breaks loose. "Pinch, punch, first of the month, no backs," a couple of fresh bruises later and we're magically still best friends forever. The losing party, which usually consists of me, can retaliate with "a kick and a flick for being so quick." This is the greatest excuse you could ever have to beat the living shit out of that one friend who talks just a little too much or is just a little too happy on Monday morning.
Hypothetical situation: You both shout "Pinch punch, first of the month, no backs! Jinx!" Now what? Do you both pinch and punch and poke one another followed by a mutual Coke binge nursing your matching black eyes? When does the cycle end?
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Adventures in Awkwardland, Episode 18: Start 'em Young
It's been a hard week for my family. My dad's brother recently passed away after an unfortunate accident. My Uncle Jim lived in Indiana, far enough from Lancaster or Erie that we only saw him on very special occasions, the usual weddings and funerals. He was a quiet spoken man, and I always had the impression he was shy. Our huge family is definitely intimidating and I was the same way.
My earliest memory of Uncle Jim is terrifying to me and definitely fits as my youngest Awkwardland story to date.
I was probably about three or four years old and we were visiting my Grandfather in Erie, but I think someone was getting married since absolutely everyone had showed up. All seven of my aunts and uncles, a plethora of cousins, and an even bigger gaggle of second cousins for me to run around with. Eventually, as usually happened when I was little, I got tired of messing around with toys and probably wanted a cookie or whatever children ate back in those days. I ran over to my dad and hugged his leg, trying to get some attention.
When he picked me up, I started to scream, flying into full fledged panic mode. This wasn't my dad at all, but some stranger impersonating him!!
From afar, my dad and Uncle Jim look remarkably similar, they could be twins. Not the best first impression I would want my relatives to remember, but definitely bittersweet.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Title Unrelated
I think every movie should be like The Princess Bride in that they should all be interrupted every fifteen minutes by Fred Savage telling his grandfather what he thinks of the story. Imagine how much greater Jurassic Park 3 would have been if, right when a dinosaur was about to eat somebody, the scene suddenly switched to Fred Savage sitting on his bed and saying, “But the dinosaur won’t eat them, grandpa, I just know it!” Then his grandfather would say, “Do you want me to continue telling the story or not? Now, as I was saying, the tyrannosaurus was chasing after them, when all of a sudden …” And then it would switch back to the action. This would make any movie way more interesting—in fact, I now find it difficult to watch a movie that isn’t being told to Fred Savage by an old man. And that’s a hell of a lot of movies.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Growing Pains - The Maturity of Heloise and Abelard
[This entry was based off a series of medieval literature texts which can be found at this website: http://www.sacred-texts.com/chr/aah/index.htm]
Growing up in a small town like Millersville, there were few people to meet, fewer friends to play with, and no way to burn off excess childhood energy. I learned to read at a young age to fight boredom, and thanks to the local library I spent my evenings fighting pirates with Peter Pan or solving mysteries with Nancy Drew. The written word is a powerful addiction, and as I grew older I found that letters, texts, or emails from a handsome young man who shares your interests and has a sense of humor to match can be equally attractive. As we grow wiser in the ways of the world, we replace our fictional ideologies with those we find in reality, putting our childhood behind us but never forgetting what they inspired us to accomplish.
The letters between Abelard and Heloise depict a story of forbidden love, obsession, and knowledge. Just as Eve represents the temptation of knowledge, Heloise represents the temptation of a bright, beautiful, “modern” woman for her time. Abelard falls for her, as any self-respecting scholar might, since their wit and intellects are a perfect match. Ultimately, it is vanity and pride that bring the lovers to misery. It is apparent through their letters which express the strong feelings these two felt for one another that even though they were forcibly separated by a vengeful uncle and by vows to holy orders, Heloise and Abelard would remain connected through their memories of love.
It was not until recently, in 1998, that the
The letters between Heloise and Abelard are heavy with philosophy, spirituality, and infatuation. They also show the growth of both literary figures. Abelard wished to marry Heloise in secret to protect his honor and reputation, and she would rather have been his mistress than his wife. To tie him down in marriage would be to hold him back, to prevent him from taking the opportunities that would present themselves to him in the future. It takes a mature, selfless woman to tell the man she is in love with “no, I will not marry you and keep you from doing what you love.” When Fulbert discovered that Abelard had convinced Heloise to intern herself in a convent, he assumed that Abelard was ridding himself of Heloise and his responsibilities to her. Fulbert’s punishment for Abelard was a ruthless mutilation and castration, an action that most overprotective father figures would admire. Unfortunately, after all the care both Heloise and Abelard took to protect their dignity, Abelard would never be able to walk confidently among his equals again. After becoming the abbess of a convent, Heloise no longer thought only of protecting Abelard, but of providing for the women in her care. Abelard states in his Apologia exactly how their relationship has grown: “Heloise, my sister, once so dear to me in the world, today even dearer to me in Jesus Christ […].” Once both were installed in their respective religious orders, each recognized the futility of their marriage, though they remained in love with one another, it was a new love sanctified by their love of God. The letters between Heloise and Abelard were never meant to published, they were intimate glimpses into the affair.
Never underestimate the power of a fictional character to encourage even the most depressed teenager to wake up every day, just as an attractive professor may find his 8 AM class filled each morning (Dr. Indiana Jones comes readily to mind). The pain of lost love stings deep and we never forget the feeling of caring more for one man than we cared for ourselves. Heloise and Abelard wrote from their hearts, and their eloquence reveals a common sadness of love gained and lost. It is the journey each young woman must make to bridge that gap between childhood and adulthood.
Bibliography
Dank, Barry M., and Klaus de Albuquerque. "Banning Sexual Asymmetry on Campus." Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality 1 (1998): n. pag. Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality. Web. 19 Feb. 2010.
"The Love Letters of Abelard and Heloise Index." Internet Sacred Text Archive Home. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Feb. 2010.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Adventures in Awkwardland, Episode 17: Got a big job in the city.
I started my new job this past Tuesday. Growing up, working in the city, local government stuff. I didn't know what I was getting into when I accepted the position, but I've been having a pretty good time so far. The people I work with are quite nice even though I'm just temporarily filling in. But anyway, I see a lot of very odd things during the day. We're connected to the police department, so people come to pay their parking tickets, water bills, certain taxes, etc. with us. I never realized Lancaster was so... ... ... diverse?
Within the first hour and a half I met a 60 year old lesbian prostitute. That's right. I'm talking hotdogs and hallways, shriveled leather prostitute, but she actually turned down a solicitation offer from an equally work down looking man in our lobby.
Yesterday, I saw an asian with a blonde mullet. I'm talking full on anime hairstyles here, not just the typical early 90's redneck stuff. I think he was going for the Snake look, but if his hairdresser would just add some blue and he could have been Captain Planet.
Today was the weirdest. I wasn't in on the conversation until halfway through, but this guy was trying to get a parking permit for the car he drives. The car is in his mother's name, an automatic red flag when you're trying to get a parking permit, and he needed to show his license to prove he could even drive the car, and he'd like to pay by a check he wrote before he came in. So he goes into this long winded tirade about how he worked for the government on some top secret service missions studying the radioactivity of rocks during the early 90's and how his research was going to be published by National Geographic and what he found made a lot of top governmental people angry so they conspired to make him cause a car accident which resulted in his license being suspended for the past couple months and that's why he tried to pay a check dated June 2008. It's all George Bush's fault. Which one? Both. And how did they cause his traffic accident? Must have been the aliens.
Maybe next time he'll tell us he's a time traveler. I'd believe it easier.
The most awkward event is having men call me "honey" or "baby girl." I'm not used to it, and generally anyone I meet at my job is in trouble with their credit or bills. So when a motorcycle-riding viking with $200 in parking tickets and his water bill shut off asks for my number, I DO have standards and I know immediately to say "no thank you."
If you've started a new job as well, feel like sharing your awkward first day at work story, or have any awkward adventures to share, send them to: MyAwkwardAdventure@gmail.com
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